I have been so busy it’s unreal. I’ve had reading to do in my spare time and any free time I do have I’m busy doing something to relax my brain. So being able to sit down and write something, anything, is amazing to me.
So, this week has been a mix of excitement and complete anxiety. Not at the work but at the environment. Being autistic I find it hard to be in an unfamiliar environment with people I don’t know. It makes me feel a little paranoid, anxious and I end up biting my nails to the wick or, if I have no nails because I’ve bitten them all already, I pick the skin around them until they bleed. Even though I’ve had my sensory toys with me everywhere I still find I am picking my fingers til they are sore.
A couple of the group have spoken to me. Me being me, I only speak when spoken to and I try to be as ‘neurotypical’ as possible. Mimicking I seem to do without thinking about it: eye contact, smiling and rambling is just a few of the traits I show when one to one with someone. Within a group I go mute, which I’ve done repeatedly this week during group work. I hate group work.
The classes themselves are actually really interesting, especially the Neuroscience and Applying Psychology classes (I’m looking forward to performing experiments in the labs later on in the semester).
I’ve been having thoughts about what to do for my dissertation which we start in January. I’m thinking about doing it on Autism (duh) but from what angle yet I’m not sure. So far I’ve been thinking about writing from a Neuroscience point of view. But that’s as far as I’ve got.
Hopefully, when the occasion arises when I have to start writing it I will be ready.